Where Your Heart Is

Ok, so we know that Rome wasn’t built in a day, Albert Einstein failed math, and it took Benjamin Franklin 101 tries to get it right. We learn early on that to achieve any great professional success, one must be determined, persistent, and relentless.  We’re cautioned it takes focus and energy to climb up that proverbial corporate ladder. Why then aren’t we taught that personal success requires the same? There is nothing that demands more of me than my relationships with family and friends. I think there is no greater commodity than your time and attention, and nothing is more telling about a person than how one chooses to spend them.  I elect to invest mine in those I love. That’s where my heart is.

 “Twice the reward, half the effort.” As I passed this bulletin board advertising a guy purchasing red roses from Weiss’s, I was immediately disgusted by it. The campaign was clearly targeted towards men to sell easy purchasing for Valentine’s Day. Maybe if the ad would have used a word other than “effort” I wouldn’t have been quite so put-off by it. But as it stands, I was truly ticked. What is it with this lackadaisical mentality about love?  Relationships take work – a lot of work.  They require commitment and demand sacrifice. And sometimes, they are just not convenient! Now, to some reading this, I know this may come as a shock to you. You, born of the reality TV age where love is a contest set in fantasy locations¸ where celebrities get married and divorced faster than it takes most people to plan a wedding. I can see why you think that love isn’t supposed to be difficult. Multi-billionaire networks and the ridiculous antics of the famous have led you to believe that relationships aren’t supposed to be hard, that people are disposable and quickly replaced. Oh, what a sad, superficial portrayal of such a profound emotion.

While I may not be a true romantic, I am most definitely a sentimentalist. Now I wouldn’t go so far as to say I don’t enjoy receiving red roses and reservations at a five star restaurant, because I do – I really do! It’s just that fresh picked weeds and handmade burnt toast mean more to me. I am completely swept off my feet by thoughtfulness. I want a gesture or a gift that makes me feel special, that shows the time and attention you invested in it. Unfortunately for Weiss, that necessitates effort.  Again, just to recap, so do relationships. Never more so I am discovering, than the one you have with your child.

As habit follows, it’s now the wee hours of morning, Sunday’s I think, and because of how spectacular Liam’s poop was, I just finished changing not only him but his sheets, too.  Since he has been going through the apparently infamous, four-month “wakeful” period, sleep hasn’t been something I’ve gotten to enjoy too much of this week. For all the wonderful discoveries my son is making, being able to find his nook and put it back in his mouth regrettably isn’t one of them. And since my husband is still immobilized on crutches, every single one of these reconnaissance missions fall on my feet alone. But for each of my boys, I will heed their call.

And so, this Valentine’s Day finds me celebrating a new relationship and focusing on a different facet of love. This February 14^th, I commemorate a mother and a dedicated wife. Although I’ve only been married little over a year, the Honeymoon period has long since ended. In all that has happened since saying “I do”, we have come a long way from that couple in the pictures. With baby spit-up on my shoulder, in my white granny panties¸ I feel like I barely recognize that girl in the beautiful dress. But just as I close our wedding album and begin to wonder if Brian and I had any inkling of what a real marriage takes, I hear him hobble into the nursery and comfort Liam. I guess we did. Turns out, we’re both determined and persistent when it comes to our personal success. When I went in to the baby’s room to join him, I saw his heart next to mine in the middle of that crib.

So in tribute to this love that takes commitment and sacrifice, I am going to boycott “The Bachelor” Monday night, rent an old Cary Grant movie, and snuggle in next to my husband, enjoying just each other’s time and attention.  Here’s to whatever love you are celebrating this Valentine’s Day, wherever your heart is <3